I like to think that I am generally being myself when working as a therapist. I might be a little more reserved and focused on the client rather than myself, but I aim to mostly be my goofy, lighthearted self. I also try to minimize my role as "expert" to avoid being too condescending. This makes the switch to husband mode a bit easier. There's not a huge gap between how I spend most my day and how I am at home.

At the same time, I find it interesting how the things that got me into therapy permeate my marriage. As lighthearted as I might be in temperament I've been told I can be kind of intense when it comes to being interested in the big questions about life and meaning. This is when I try to make sure I get all that out while on the job and give my wife a break during our time together.

Making that particular transition can be a bit challenging with my head full of ideas on how to help make a client's life a little easier and help them reach their goals. The flip side is that I try to practice what I preach and having constant reminders on how to connect with loved ones can be a benefit to my marriage. It's hard to take my wife for granted when I spend my day helping people find ways to appreciate the little ways loved ones give life meaning.

At the end of the day I have to trust my wife to tell me when I'm letting my work-self take over for my home-self. My job is to make it easy for her to tell me. Here's hoping I'm getting that right.