The research is in: mindfulness works. But even with its growing acceptance and popularity, there is still a lot of skepticism. John Mulaney, one of my favorite stand-ups, has a whole bit about how "the moment" is terrible and daydreaming is much better. As a fan of daydreaming myself, I can get on board with his preference, but his bit breezes over "the moment." Being able to truly take in the moment is amazing.

While he was mostly kidding, I do sometimes face a similar reaction from clients when I propose focusing on full body breathing and a sensory read of the environment. That resistance is paired with the thought that mindfulness is just ignoring life's problems and is essentially denial. In some ways they are right, I am asking them to ignore their problems for a while, but I prefer to think of it as shifting focus. When a person lets their mind wander it typically goes to the things he or she is most worried about. This keeps people in a constant state of distress, in the process missing so much of how life is actually spent.

Denial is when someone can't even see the problem. The wonderful thing about mindfulness is that after a short break to connect with the body and environment, it's actually easier to see the problem more clearly. It makes the process less about the emotions that get piled up around the problem and more about what is actually happening in the moment.

As just one example, a fight with a partner can shift from a power struggle to empathy and understanding for your partner's position, eliciting a similar response in turn. Mindfulness can make it so a conversation happens instead of a fight, so you can listen and connect instead of resist and compete. Ultimately, being mindful can expand the depth and complexity with which one sees everything.